Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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