He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
