Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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