weddingsv make me drug and hornr
id be glad to
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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