Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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