Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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