Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
