Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
