Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
