Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
