I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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