I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
