Tell her she can't have a vagina
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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