just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
