I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
