he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
