This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
