Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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