just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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