please come you make the beer taste better
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
