he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
