My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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