Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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