Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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