The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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