hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
