Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
