So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
