How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
