why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
