i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
