I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
