i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
