why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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