i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
