Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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