so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
