I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
