My sheets look like a crime scene.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
