i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Are we still banned from the library?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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