I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
