She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
