Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
