Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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