He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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