this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
