yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
