i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Pants are for mortals
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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