dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
