Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
lol hangovers are for mortals.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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