dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
