Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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