after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.