I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize