..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows