i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.