I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What's dad's email?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets