On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
