the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.