Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize