my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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