i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
