Rock
Scissors
Fuck
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
