i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
