She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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