But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
