I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
